Freaks, even in Mahwah

So, I was doing my normal Saturday morning bagel run over the weekend, when a guy approached me in the parking lot. He wanted to know about my car. So, I was nice enough and started to answer his questions (I really like my car). Until this part:

Him: “So, can you fold down the back seats?”
Me: “Um, yeah.”
Him: “So, have you ever layed down back there? Will a person fit in the back?”
Me: “I gotta go now, bye!”

I’m not sure which was worse…

So I had another toothache yesterday (and all weekend) and I went to the dentist. Lucky me, time for another root canal! That makes three in the last six months. I’m an old pro at this point.

But maybe worse than the root canal was what the doctor did at precisely 3 o’clock. He turned on the TV. Now, I’m a big fan of the boob tube, but not really interested in TV when someone has their hands in my mouth and is filing my roots. And the choice of the show was the kicker. DR. PHIL!!! Ah, the inhumane torture! I didn’t have the heart to ask him to change it, as he was clearly a regular viewer every day. He even talked back to the TV while I was in the chair. I definitely would have left if I had heard “Talk to the hand!” from him, though. Exposed roots and all.

Conference call etiquette

If you’re on conference calls enough you’ll recognize these different types of people:

• The heavy breather: someone who doesn’t mute the phone and breathes into the phone so everyone can hear
• The canyon dweller: someone who puts the conference call on speaker phone in their large, echoey office where all the noise is echoed into the call
• The forgetful muter: someone who forgets they are on mute and answers questions about 30 seconds late when they realize no one can hear them

I’ll add more as I think of them.

When it’s no longer your cell phone, it’s time for Depends

Time to discuss an interesting phenomenon of the modern age. Have you ever put your cell phone into silent mode (vibrate) and put it in your pocket? When it rings and starts vibrating in my pocket, it vibrates at too high a frequency. Instead of feeling the cell phone in my pocket, it often feels like I’m peeing in my pants (not that there’s anything wrong with that). This is a very unnerving effect.

Necessary?

Today I got an AOL CD in a metal box in the mail… Last week I got a Mercedes C-class brochure in a metal box… Talk about opposite ends of the spectrum. Someone made a lot of money selling advertising in a metal box.

Elevator music plays overhead

Please be patient while I import my content over to this new site.

Yet another test post

I’m playing around with the blogging software because I’m an impatient person. Anyone else like this one better?